Candid Calculations

i'd rather be caught with my pants down, than my pants up...

damn paps… “paps” being the ever so affectionate term for paparazzi, or those stealth and sometimes schemey celebrity photographers… being yours truly of course, i don’t have the star power to have to deal with such annoyances on a regular basis. the only time i get my photo taken by the paps is either

a. they mistake me for some other really, really ridiculously good looking fellow (usually a “celebrity” of grandiose proportions) or
b. i’m actually hanging out with one of my celebrity friends, of which when printed in the zines, i’m usually captioned as “random dude” or “sketchy pirate guy”

then again there are always the instances of which i happen to be close friends with the photographer, and in order to make me feel “special”, i get my photo taken ;-)



but there were times back in the day, where i would just pull the stealth ninja move and sneak into photos at opportune times…



the majority of the time however, i must admit, is when i’m with my “celebrity” friends. for some reason paparazzi love to take photos of douchebags, and well, i happen to have famous friends that are douchebags. now which part of that sentence is more douchey? the fact that i elude to having famous friends? or the fact that i do indeed from time to time hang out with douchebags? do two douches make a right? does doucheyness cancel out? is there a direct correlation with the level of fame and the level of douchebageddry? what is the source of such social behavior? perhaps it’s in the eye of the observer? or maybe it’s genetic?

this is where i would have inserted a really awesometastic bar chart diagram of sorts, but since i’m on my macbook, and don’t have any nifty paint or chart making programs to my knowledge at 5 in the morning, i’ll just insert this definitely not posed photo of spencer pratt and heidi montag from the hit mtv show the hills.*


*it’s important that i point out here that i’m not anti mtv’s the hills, just so as long as they play my songs in the background of one of their sappy montages. it’s also important to note that i’m not anti heidi montag, just anti spencer and heidi ;)

when it comes to musicians, i’ve noticed a different trend in the douchebag line. i don’t mind it, as long as it doesn’t affect their creative integrity. they’re are a few that i hold in higest regards, but shall remain nameless because they mayer may not come across this blog/bulletin… i myself, have been accused of said “title” one a few times, but strangely enough, it doesn’t bother me, most likely perhaps because i haven’t reached the status of paparazzi fame. plus, i’m a vegetarian. i’m all about voting. i’m active in the community, i support multiple non-profit organizations, and well, i hate to say it, but i’m an all around awesome dude!

i was somehow going to segway this into the topic of sextapes (hence the tittle of this entry), but completely lost track of what i was typing… i think i got too consumed with the possibility of someday winning the noble peace prize… nonetheless, the only sex tape of mine that i know of being in existence, is only audio. and even if there was a video, i wouldn’t mind it at all, because i’d much rather be caught with my pants down, than my pants up! the penguin. i don’t like my legs… i never have… they are reminiscent of a 10 year old girls legs - which doesn’t do much for my street cred… a completely different thing i must add - in bed. but i can’t let any of this get to my head. gotta stay grounded instead. in the fine words of someone i used to know: “always wanking to the best of capabilities. i has to laff at the reality at hand!” and in response to that, i say: touché douché!

^see what i just did there?^ with the accent on the rhyme… sometimes my cleverness amazes me. wait - i do it all the time! cheers to me, cheers to you, and cheers to that ever so affectionate term known as the douchebag. may i never fall prey to it’s insidiously viral clutches!
-sir frank bell

updates and crazy cakes gone wild!

i can’t quite formulate thoughts at the moment, nor type them. i can however write them in my moleskine, which is pretty much what i’m up 2 at the moment… drowsy exhausted laundry… i’ve been wearing this holey vintage t-shirt for days in mental seclusion… maybe it’s afforded me some sort of spiritual knowledge unbeknownst to man; or maybe my own fumes are getting to my head. i should be outlawed. maybe i already am, and just don’t know it. it’s actually mind-laundry time… not that i have an entourage of dirty thoughts, but more so too many thoughts in general, and some need to be thrown away… ah yes. vulgarity and inner-clarity. i am the cloud. i am the sea. i am the sand. i am a son. i am a friend. i am a man.

i had something to say, but i lost it. my mind drifts sometimes, i opened this window, began to type. went upstairs to grab a slice of cheese. in the living room, sam is laughing hysterically at a website showcasing horrible but true ideas for cake decorations… he just showed me naked babies with mohawks, riding on carrots. went to the office and got a blank cd. found a red hat that i thought was in nyc. now here i am, back again - with my original thought lost somewhere in frankspace. cyberspace. myspace. someplace.

so i’ve been working like a madman. for me. for you. for us. i’ve been traveling in a astral sense, and now i return home to attempt to update ya on what to look out for in the future. exciting things, yes!

- contest and giveaways! because who doesn’t like free stuff, right? you’ve stuck with me this long, so i figure you deserve it, and if you just jumped on the bandwagon, then lucky you, you get free stuff too! yay! i haven’t quite decided what it will be just yet, but we’ve been brewing some pretty awesome ideas, and i know you’ll be happy.

- collaborations! because who doesn’t love it when two people get together and create something? that’s right… something. be on the lookout for some pretty awesometastic collaborations with talented dj’s, musicians (some you know, some you will know), photographers, artist, clothing companies, film makers, and some pretty kick ass non-profit charity organizations.

- tv! because who doesn’t like TV… well, to be honest, i’m not particular fond of it, but hey i’ll definitely let you know the exact date when it gets closer to tune in to MTV for yours truly! i’m super stoked about this because it will be my first (of hopefully many) placements on MTV :)

- physical distribution! because who doesn’t like getting physical? soon, very very very soon, you will be able to head on over to amazon.com and buy actual physical copies of the EP, ‘on passion and reason’. in a digital world, some like to have that tangibility, and i’m trying to provide it!

- shows! festivals! shows! because what is better than enjoying live music? no, seriously. after my last short press tour, i’m reminded how exhilarating it is to perform live. not having the security of the internet. feeding off the incredible energy that you never fail to give me. meeting you afterwards. ready? set? go!

*whew* i haven’t made a list in a while… so things to look out for. there it is. i can’t even begin to express how excited i am for our future journey together. thanks for staying with me this far… it only gets better. keep spreading the word! :)

and now… i think it’s relaxing mario time. nintendo wii action. sam-wise the great just challenged me to a duel, and you know i NEVER back down from a duel… i love you all, friends. if it was up to me, i’d cook all of you dinner tomorrow night. with cake for dessert.
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p.s. martha stewart is such a dirty, dirty, bad, bad lil girl… she deserves to be spanked. you know she’d enjoy it. i wouldn’t be surprised if a martha stewart sex tape came out soon (no pun intended). infact, don’t be surprised if i’m the co-star. say what? i need sleep. i should shave. not for me, but for martha. i give lovin’ too..

Sleepless Nights and Connecting Flights



Once again I find myself on a plane, looking down. Another 10 hours or so ahead of me, allocating time for musication, meditation and all that lovely stuff that comes out of being suspended in mid-air.

Things I have learned for my next Netherlands adventure:
- when crossing the street, it’s important to look not just left, and right, but behind, forward, up down, and every other direction possible.
as a pedestrian, you can get run over by ANYTHING. cars, bikes, and low flying pigeons alike…
- the usd. is pretty much worthless. alternative uses for your paper change? tobacco rolling paper, bookmark, etc… but that’s about it.
- if you don’t speak dutch, it’s probably not a good idea to pretend you do, and say “yes” to everything.
- there is a HUGE difference from “cafes” and “coffeshops”.
- for some reason, the stairs are extremely tiny. the people generally the tallest in the world, and yet the stairs are almost impossible to scale sometimes without holding on to some sort of railing (not even factoring level of inebriation and/or wetness of surface).
- there’s a reason there are 2 buttons on the toilet flush. be sure to know which is which if you happen to flush whilst sitting.
- you will never get to see all the beauty the city has to offer in one trip.

The last one is a re-assurance that the Netherlands will most definitely be a spot on my next European tour. I’m already looking for excuses to return.

Wow… currently at 37,000 feet, and with the skies so clear today, I can see Ireland below. Simply breathtaking, no matter how many times I see it. Many more updates and news to go…

I’ve landed, and I’m not quite sure if it’s day or night. Nonetheless, I have a good feeling that sleep will be my friend for the next couple of days, as I try to play catch up. Thanks again for EVERYTHING. It really means the world to me. Grounded and landed;
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Frank Bell ft. The wicked jazz sounds band - NL4E

Dutch Radio 3FM - Nothing Last FOURever.

Good times! I’m loving my stay here in Amsterdam. More updates to come!
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Star Power

“Go outside and look west,” I’m told.

In an obedient fashion, I make way out of my abode to gaze in an upwards fashion at the marvel that is above. The Earth’s moon in it’s full capacity, resembling the beaming glow of a halogen bulb. The stars around it, acting as mosquitoes, circling around the heavenly light, complimenting it’s regal composure. I try to make sense of what it’s telling me, as it stares back in a cold, yet loving gaze. I wonder how many breaths I would take in some imaginary journey to it’s surface. I return back inside, and put pen to paper, notating my journey in song form. It’s a waltz. Each step of the 3/4 count, bringing me closer and closer to this pie in the sky…

Once enough words are sprawled out in this little leather book, and my writing hand gets tired, I set it aside to take a break and re-enter the digital world, of where I now find myself typing. It’s been a minute so it seems, since I’ve done this whole blog thing. It’ll take some getting used to, before I fall back into full-swing. For the return, I’ve to thank the moon and it’s gleam…

I’ve noticed that lately I find myself often looking up… Be it at my ceiling fan, or celestial bodies of wonder. I wonder… My mind wanders…

For the past 5 or so years it seems, I’ve been on a plane on my birthday… This year, it seems shall be no different; expect some sort of airport social study within the week ;-) Meanwhile, I wanted to let you all know that you’re loved… and not to forget to look up from time to time… It’s incredible what one can find.
|Frankie Brown Eyes|

Playing For Change | Song Around The World “Stand By Me” from Concord Music Group on Vimeo.

PSA: Spicy Hot Thai… Great Balls of Fire!

This is quite random, but then again, when have I been known not to be. It’s a word of advice. More like a public service announcement for all my male friends who fancy a good kitchen magic once in a while.


When cooking spicy thai basil and tofu fried rice - handling red cayenne peppers - be sure to wash your hands BEFORE you take a piss. Apparently the hot oil from the peppers can stay on your hands and transfer to your beloved package… Let’s just say it isn’t pleasant at all… Not in the slightest! I suppose I could insert a joke about something being on fire and needing to be blown out, but that’s just crass, and well… this isn’t really a laughing matter.


That’s Hot. So… Cook safe! Wash your hands before, and AFTER! And always wear a seatbelt.
That’s all for now!
|Firepants Frankie Bell|

Oh, and I love you all!

In My Name - *YouTube Live*

Will. i. am Introduces his video “In My Name” on YouTube Live ‘08. November 22nd, 2008 in San Francisco, CA.

See if you can spot me :)



For more information and to learn how you can help the In My Name cause, please visit http://www. inmyname. com Thanks again for spreading the word!
|Frank Bell|

In September 2000, at the United Nations Millennium Summit, world leaders agreed to the Millennium Development Goals, a set of time-bound and measurable goals for combating poverty, hunger, disease, illiteracy, environmental degradation and discrimination against women.

The deadline to achieve the Millennium Development Goals is September 2015 — we must act now if we want to achieve these goals by their deadline.

http://www.youtube.com/inmyname

Inspire Magazine Interview

Those wonderful peeps in Bratislava, Slovakia were kind enough to do a write up thingy on me :) I’m usually incredibly bad and awkward when it comes to things like this… Enjoy!
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P.S. In no way do I endorse smoking. It’s bad for you and stuff…

there’s sand in my strawberries…

my mind jumps around quite a bit. many times it’s jumping from ideas, places and the like, but most times, it’s jumping through time… it’s not difficult to keep up as to where i am, so much as it is to when i am.

most recently, during my songwriting process, i’m finding that in order to recall things with clarity (or at all), i have to time travel. then sometimes things overlap. i’ll find myself in the middle of the desert at the top of the eiffel tower, eating dessert nonetheless. places overlap on occasion. sometimes people. one person becomes 5 different people, or 5 people become one person. a lot of times it takes a lot of work and effort to dig deep for things, while others are crystal clear, for better or for worse.

i sit on my bed, ceiling fan above me on the highest setting. i’m still sweating from the journey i just took. around me on the bed are pieces of paper and moleskines/notebooks of all different sizes, the font on them in all different colors. there’s a grocery list, phone numbers, a todo list or so among the scattered pile, but for the most part it all consist of words. dreams. thoughts. perceived reality. certain things jotted down to forget, and other things to hold on to with dear life. this is how i’ll sometimes arrange these words into song.

i come across a particular song that i started working on a month or so ago. i never got to finish it, because i since then haven’t been able to return to that exact state of perfect optimism that i was in when i wrote it. everything is going to be okay. everything happens for the best. so on and so forth. i know i’ll eventually finish it, not only for myself, but for you as well, it’s just incredibly important to me that when i do resume said song, i mean it. feel it. and most importantly believe what i’m trying to convey.

i then come across another piece of paper. this one, the words are written both carefully, and yet seemingly fast at the same time. it reads of no promises. no guarantees. questions of ‘what ifs’. this one was most definitely written in a completely different state of mind as the aforementioned. i play the scribbled chords that i jotted down on my guitar. immediately, the shivers ensue and flash transport to a place familiar, but dark.

“it’s not time to finish that one either”, i say to myself…

i close my eyes, and lay back on the green bed/desk pillow. the sound of the papers, rustling from the ceiling fan are reminiscent of fall leaves trapped in earth’s breath….

*flash*

i’m now in new york city’s central park. it’s last year. in my right hand i hold a lover, in my left, an umbrella keeping us dry from the autumn rain. the sound of the leaves are around us as we walk care free knowing that despite any troubles, we have each other. right now, at this current moment, Everything. Is. Perfect.

*flash*

i realize that it’s 2008. august something or another. i’m in atlanta, laying on a green bed, staring at a ceiling fan, surrounded by paper. there’s no park, there’s no rain, there’s no lover. i grab my pen, and a fresh piece of paper, and while this clarity of my most recent journey through time remains, i write. the smell, the taste, the weight of every footstep. i write. i grab my guitar, and look at what i’ve written. i’ve created another portal it seems. i fold it up and stick it in an envelope to glance at later for possible youtube video recording.

i head to the kitchen to cook up a grilled cheese sandwich and a fruit smoothie. i’m exhausted. i notice that it’s only 3pm est. that’s when i remember, i’ve always preferred jet-lag to time-lag…

there’s nothing like a cold smoothie in the desert,
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